The Valuable Lessons Behind Grandparental Wisdom

Grandparents often share advice based on the wisdom they have acquired, often drawing from experiences of their own generation. While many of these pieces of advice might not apply directly to our lives, we benefit from their guidance and learn valuable lessons. Below, I share some of the 'worst' advice my grandparents gave me, but also the valuable insights I gleaned from it.

Iterative Wisdom

My grandparents' advice was often infused with love and a deep understanding of the world from their perspective. Even though some of the advice given might not have been applicable to my life, I still listened and learned. Many of these lessons turned out to be very important. I learned about resourcefulness, frugality, and the importance of growing vegetables and flowers in a proper garden. These values have stayed with me throughout my life and helped shape my character.

As an example, I learned that my maternal grandfather was born on a ship coming to the colonies from England and later left his family to return to England to settle a will, but died before he could return. I also discovered that my grandfather's embarrassment about his middle name led to an interesting family story. My troop of ancestors, including my great-great-grandfather who participated in the Norman Invasion on the side of the Conqueror, have left a rich legacy that I continue to explore.

Personal Reflections

A particular instance that still makes me laugh involves my grandmother with her religious and bigoted views. In high school, she told me not to date any of the girls in a large family, insisting they were Catholics. This prejudiced attitude puzzled me, and much later, when I married a Catholic, I couldn't understand her holier-than-thou stance. She only approved of other Christian extremists.

It's worth mentioning that despite these prejudices, my grandmother was dedicated to protecting her family. When my cousin on that side of the family married a black man, my grandmother was not pleased, but the rest of the family accepted and liked him. Similarly, when another cousin came out as gay, my grandmother didn't approve. In the end, I felt she earned it. These experiences taught me to be understanding and compassionate.

Valuable Insights

The advice given, while sometimes misguided, also provided me with lifelong values. For instance, don't swim for at least 30 minutes after eating, keep an extra match while traveling to the south at night, and stay away from certain street markets in town were some of the more literal pieces of advice. However, the underlying message is often about safety and caution. The more prejudiced attitudes, such as 'don't deal with unnamed minorities in the street markets because they are bad,' were less about safety and more about fear and stigma. Yet, even in these instances, I discovered that my grandfather knew his way around and understood the value of the coins. Not only did he navigate the situation effectively, but his insights taught me to be cautious without succumbing to fear.

My grandmother also ran our lives with remarkable care during our family’s stays in the lush Lincolnshire region, ensuring it remained a paradise for those three months every year. I derive much of my faith and happiness from those times, and they have shaped my understanding of true happiness and the importance of home.

In conclusion, while the advice given might have been misguided, it was never poor advice. These experiences have made me who I am and continue to shape my values. Nothing can shake the foundation of what I am, and no poor advice can compromise this. With gratitude, I honor the legacy of my grandparents and the lessons they taught me.