Marriage and Post-Marriage Experiences: A Personal Journey

Marriage, a union symbolizing love, commitment, and partnership, can be filled with various experiences. Some view it as a joyful journey, while others face challenges that can make it a taxing time. This article shares a personal journey, highlighting the initial excitement of marriage versus the realities faced after a year of being married.

Initial Honeymoon: Freedom and Joy

When I got married a year ago, I felt like stepping into a world of endless possibilities. I found myself in Bengaluru, where I had complete freedom to explore and experience life. I cherished evenings spent with friends, hanging out with family, and the ease of traveling without any constraints.

Academic and Social Life

Pre-marriage, I was immersed in my studies and career. My family had high expectations, which I met with dedication. We celebrated milestones together, whether it was a birthday dinner at a favorite restaurant or a trip to a faraway destination. This period was marked by joy, support, and a sense of unity.

The Transition to Post-Marriage Life

However, life changed dramatically after marriage. The dynamics shifted to accommodate a new, more structured lifestyle centered around the family. The initial freedom I enjoyed was replaced with a sense of restrictions.

Pathways to Restriction

Unlike in Bengaluru, where safety was a relative and achievable norm, my new environment imposed strict rules. For instance, I was required to return home before 8:30 PM, a curfew that felt particularly stringent considering the city's reputation for safety. My professional life, which involved traveling to and from the office, now included an expectation to contribute to the household.

The housework and financial expectations increased exponentially. I was expected to cook and contribute to the household expenses, despite not receiving any personal gifts or financial support. My in-laws sought ways to utilize the earnings, often without my input or consent. Even my father-in-law, another breadwinner, faced similar restrictions in financial transparency.

Morning Rituals and Beyond

The early mornings were a reprieve from the constraints, but they came with their own set of demands. I was expected to assist my mother-in-law in the kitchen, a task I struggled with given the limited choices available. I often felt forced to compromise my tastes and preferences, which only added to my feeling of being restricted.

Additional Challenges

Staying at my mother-in-law's place or visiting friends became subject to permission, reflecting a broader shift towards less individual freedom. The financial contributions from my earnings were met with criticism, making it a challenge to navigate household finances and interpersonal relationships.

The Upside: Growth and Change

Despite the challenges, there have been some silver linings. For instance, my mother-in-law has now hired a cook for meals, making my responsibilities in the kitchen less daunting. Additionally, she occasionally cooks dishes according to my preferences, which I appreciate as it eases the burden of cooking entirely on my own.

Recent Changes and Growth

In a positive turn of events, I no longer need to contribute financially to the household. My in-laws have been generous in not expecting anything in return, and I have chosen not to provide anything for them either.

Conclusion: Marriage and Its Multifaceted Nature

Marriage can indeed be a incredible journey filled with love and support. However, it often comes with its share of challenges. From balancing professional and personal life to navigating household dynamics, each couple's experience is unique. It is important to communicate openly and find a healthy balance that suits both partners.

For those facing similar struggles, it's essential to hold onto hope and seek support from trusted individuals. Remember, every relationship is a learning journey, and with the right mindset, it can be a rewarding one.